Being in a relationship

Being in a relationship can be a really special feeling. At the beginning it is nice to know that someone is mutually attracted to you, wants to do nice things with you and wants to lavish their attention and affections on you and vice versa.

Relationships can happen in many different ways. Some can start out of nowhere with someone you have bumped into or met that night. Some can stem from lifelong friendships and sometimes even casual flings can turn into something deeper and meaningful.

As lovely as the honeymoon period of any relationship is, unfortunately it doesn’t last forever. That doesn’t mean to say that you still won’t have strong feelings for your partner. It just means that the initial excitement may fade a bit – and that is when the hard work begins. Relationships take work and effort to keep them alive and keep things fresh – it is very easy to take your partner for granted and to stop making the extra effort you did in the early days before you become comfortable together.

However, if you are going to be in a relationship – make sure it is for the right reasons… not because all your mates are and you feel left out, not to fit in, look cool or to make yourself feel grown up.

Relationships are important – we are social creatures at the end of the day, but relationships will only work if you are in the right frame of mind and comfortable with yourself. So, before you start chasing other people around – spend some quality time working on the relationship you have with yourself. Learn to love yourself, you aren’t perfect, but you are pretty cool! If you don’t appreciate how special you are – how can you expect anyone else to?

The fact is, people who are comfortable being themselves, are confident and happy in their own skin and are willing to stand up for themselves tend to be the people we fancy. So work on you first…to find out more click here

Time Out: me time

One of the most important lessons you can learn in any relationship to make sure you have time out, time just for you to do what you want. You do not have to be permanently attached at the hip – this goes for boyfriends or girlfriends and also best friends. It is easy to get so wrapped up in each other that you forget your other friends and family – or even you lose sight of yourself.

It can become very claustrophobic and you can end up feeling trapped. Or even worse, what happens when things go wrong or come to an end and suddenly you haven’t spoken or seen any of your friends for months – who are you going to turn to for support?

There is a difference between spending time together and spending quality time together. You both need some space to breathe, and do your own thing. This can often be a little scary or make people a little insecure – but unfortunately you need to get over it – it is the only way for two people to survive in a long term relationship. You both need your own interests and time out just for you.

© Going off the Rails 2014. Adapted from ‘Playing Downstairs’ by Jonny Hunt

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