How you choose to feel morally about sex is up to you, so don’t ever let other people judge you or make you feel bad because you see sex differently. We all have the right to see sex how we see fit.
Sex is not a competition, a way to score points or to win badges to show off to all your mates. If you see sex as something you do to fit in, look cool or to prove a point to anyone else – you are doing it wrong. Just because your mates say they have done something, doesn’t mean you have to – and certainly doesn’t mean it is true anyway.
One final point, many people have the idea that ‘proper sex’ – penis in vagina sex is the Holy Grail – that is how you lose your virginity and is all that really matters, all the other stuff is just the warm up. This is a complete mistake. Not only does it disregard the notion of sex for same sex couples but also it does everyone a disservice.
It creates a whole lot of pressure for people to rush to pop their cherries, but also people often then find sex a bit of a disappointment. There is much more to sex than putting the proverbial plug in the socket. There are lots of ways people have sex and lots of nice things you can explore by yourself or with a partner [click here to find out more links to doing it & pleasure zones].
When it comes to sex – do it on your own terms – when you do choose to have sex do it for the right reasons – because you want to – not because you feel you should or are obliged to.
© Going off the Rails 2014. Adapted from ‘Playing Downstairs’ by Jonny Hunt